


How I Feel Inside

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - American, Alternate Universe - College/University, Arguing, Bickering, Established Relationship, Gender Presentation, Hospitalization, I wouldn't do that to you, Kinda, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mystery, Niall-centric, No Smut, OT5 Friendship, Scenting, everyone is okay, i promise it isn't really bad, it's all domestic and filled with love but it is a genuine disagreement, mentioned not shown, okay let's do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 19:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15589242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: From the time they were young, Louis, Harry, and Niall all knew their secondary genders. Louis was alpha, Harry was omega, and so was Niall.Louis was the oldest and also an early bloomer. The day before Thanksgiving at the hormonally insane age of thirteen, he had needed Harry. He always did, but then he was humping a shirt Harry had left behind at their last sleepover while he popped his first knot.Louis = Alpha. Check.Harry’s presentation was far more talked about. He was sixteen and sure he was coming down with the flu in the middle of gym class when Louis came barging in. Harry was confused, but as soon as he smelled Louis,  he dropped fully into his first heat in the middle of the gymnasium.Harry = Omega. Check.Niall was different, though. He always had been. He didn’t mind it, he took great pride in it usually. But then they had graduated and he still hadn’t presented. Maybe he was just a late bloomer. Butmaybehe wasn’t an omega at all.So, Niall = Beta. Check.But then a month into the fall semester of their senior year, Niall disappeared.





	How I Feel Inside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RealityBetterThanFiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityBetterThanFiction/gifts).



> Hiiiii I'm super excited for this and Mac darling I hope you like it. I had so much fun writing you another Niall-centric fic hehe 
> 
> Big thank you to [Emmu](http://londonfoginacup.tumblr.com) for indulging me when I got my strange idea for this fic and letting me go on with all my plot twists and all that. I had so much fun with it and I'm glad you didn't give up on me hahaha Biggest of Massive thanks also go to [Molly](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com) for making this readable. I wrote almost the entire fic in less than 24 hours and she helped it make sense, so seriously. THANK YOU. All remaining mistakes, as ever, are my own.
> 
> This is part of a Wordplay prompt challenge that a group of us are participating in for the prompt "Wind". To read the amazing fics that were written by the others on this prompt, [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/wind/works), and to see all fics written as part of the challenge, [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/wordplay_fic_challenge/works) or find the masterpost for this year’s challenge [here](https://wordplayfics.tumblr.com/post/175608230403/wordplay-2018-every-week-a-prompt-is-chosen-using).
> 
> The title comes from NY to LA by the Hunna cause I was driving around and it struck me as having a fun sound that might fit the fic and while it doesn't really, the title works so there you go lollll Please don't share this with anyone affiliated with the band, it is a work of fiction, etc etc etc. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

From the time they were young, Louis, Harry, and Niall all knew their secondary genders. Based on personality and other - ahem -  _ certain  _ physical tells, they all knew. Louis was alpha, Harry was omega, and so was Niall. That was just how it was and it made sense for them. 

Louis was the oldest and also an early bloomer. The day before Thanksgiving at the hormonally insane age of thirteen, he had needed Harry. He always felt that way to some extent, but he couldn’t explain why even the idea of Harry being on the other side of the state for two days bothered him so much but it did. Next thing he knew, his room was a disaster and he was humping a shirt Harry had left behind at their last sleepover while he popped his first knot.

Louis = Alpha. Check.

Harry’s presentation was a bit less dramatic but far more talked about. He was sixteen and sure he was coming down with the flu in the middle of gym class when Louis came barging in and punched the new alpha, Zayn, for simply standing too close. At first, Harry was confused because Louis’ rut wasn’t expected for another month. But as soon as he smelled Louis, his alpha, he knew what was going on because he dropped fully into his first heat in the middle of the gymnasium.

Harry = Omega. Check.

Niall was different, though. He always had been. He didn’t mind it, he took great pride in it usually. But then they had graduated and he still hadn’t presented. Maybe he was just a late bloomer.

But when their first year of college had come and gone and Niall still hadn’t presented, he figured he should probably just admit to himself that maybe they were wrong. Maybe he wasn’t an omega at all. Maybe he was a beta with enhanced abilities when it came to deciphering pheromones. It wasn’t unheard of, though it was incredibly rare.

So, Niall = Beta. Check.

But then a month into the fall semester of their senior year, Niall disappeared.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Have any of you seen Niall? I’ve been searching for him everywhere because our physics project is due tomorrow but he hasn’t been replying to my texts or anything.”

Liam’s voice drifted down the hall and the sound of him and Zayn removing their shoes echoed a bit in the still empty space. Louis wished he could decorate it, but Harry would have his head if he did it without him. Their schedules had been incredibly busy this semester and didn’t give them a lot of time to worry about domestic things like which cabinet should hold the ramen noodles and decoration of the hallway.

“Nah,” Louis said, watching his friends walk in and settle down together in the ratty blue hand-me-down recliner. “I stopped by to give him notes he’d asked for over the weekend and he wasn’t there, so I slipped them beneath his door. That was days ago, though.” 

Louis thought about it more and sat up from where he’d been highlighting his anthropology textbook. His exam wasn’t until next week, but he didn’t want to put it to chance. He had to study as much as he could if he was going to get a good grade this semester.

“Harry said all his shifts had gotten covered at the bakery for the week, so I wonder if something came up and he forgot to tell us?”

Zayn looked at his mate before looking at Louis with a dubious expression. “Without telling  _ any _ of us?”

“Yeah, he’s disappeared before, but he always tells someone because he knows you’re like a mother hen,” Liam teased.

Louis rolled his eyes. “I’m protective of him, so sue me. I’m the only alpha, other than Zayn, he’s ever been close to and we’ve known each other since we were in Kindergarten. It happens.”

The room was quiet outside of the creaks the recliner made as Zayn rocked the two of them gently.

“Lou, I told you to stop leaving the door unlocked even if you’re home,” Harry called from the entryway. 

Louis arched his back so he could tip his head over the back of the couch and see his fiancé. “Not my fault! Zayn and Liam left it unlocked this time.”

“That’s not fair,” Liam said with a pout. “It was already unlocked when we got here.”

Louis glared at Liam for ratting him out as Harry flicked his ear and threw himself onto the couch. His head was perfectly situated so Louis could massage his scalp while he propped his feet up on the armrest. Harry loved this position and, while he acted like he didn’t, so did Louis.

“So what’s going on?” Harry asked through a yawn. “I didn’t think we were getting together until tomorrow to work on more wedding and bond ceremony stuff.”

Louis tried not to tense up, but he did anyway. He could tell by the way Harry’s eyes flicked over to him as his nostrils flared a bit that Louis’ scent had given away his spike in stress as well. 

It wasn’t that Louis didn’t want to get married and have a formal bond ceremony or anything, because he did. He was a romantic like that and Harry and Louis had been talking about it since forever. The issue was that Harry was so set on the idea of waiting to bond until their wedding night, just like his grandma and grandpa had, and their parents, and their parents before them, and Louis...wasn’t. It had become a source of contention for them. 

In the end, Louis loved Harry and wanted to give Harry anything he wanted, even if it meant waiting until they were married to officially bond. 

He really did wish that Harry would at least consider a small and personal bonding ceremony on their anniversary since it fell during Thanksgiving break this year and then they could do the big wedding and changing of names in the summer. Eight years was long enough to wait when they’d known from the start that they were in a forever kind of relationship.

“Yeah, Liam has been trying to get ahold of Niall and he hasn’t heard from him in days. They have a project due tomorrow and that’s not like him to ghost like this,” Zayn explained. 

Harry’s concern was instant. Louis rubbed at his nose to try to ease the sour notes that had suddenly mixed with Harry’s usually light and citrusy scent.

“I haven’t seen him since last week. Same with Lou, right?” 

Harry’s eyes were filled with worry. Louis nodded in agreement and did the best he could to infuse his touch and scent with careful notes of comfort to help ease his tension. Yet another thing that would be easier if they were bonded but, Louis really should try to let that go. No matter how much he and Harry fought about it, it wasn’t going to change Harry’s mind. Harry was just as stubborn, if not more so, than Louis himself. What was usually a strength could occasionally turn out to be a fault for them.

“Should I reach out to our professor, do you think?” Liam asked, already picking up his phone. “I sent her an email asking a question about something else earlier, but I could just hypothetically ask about what someone should do if their partner goes missing as well.”

“Couldn’t hurt,” Louis said, shrugging. “How much longer do we let this go before we reach out to someone, though? Like what if he’s been abducted and no one has gone to the authorities or anything?”

“I don’t think we have to worry about that,” Liam said slowly as he handed his phone to Zayn so he could read what he just had. “Professor Barnett responded.”

Louis looked down at Harry in confusion since Liam was staying quiet as Zayn read.

“And?” Harry prodded, sitting up and leaning into Louis so he could scent him easier. 

Harry had once told Louis that the only time he feels entirely calm is when his nose is stuck right in the junction of Louis’ neck and shoulder or when Louis has claimed him. The last claiming bite Louis gave him was around a week ago, so the effects had probably worn off by now. Louis would have to make sure to take care of that again tonight.

“It looks like Niall might have reached out to his TAs and professors,” Zayn said slowly. “Barnett is giving them extra time to work on the project due to these ‘unforeseen circumstances’ and told Liam not to worry.”

“What unforeseen circumstances?” Liam asked, throwing his hands in the air. “He had enough time to reach out to them but not to me? Not to any of us? Some friend.”

Liam was obviously getting worked up, so Zayn leaned forward and nipped gently at their bondmark. It was an incredibly intimate thing to do, but they’d all been friends long enough - and walked in on each other in very compromising situations enough - that they didn’t think twice about that kind of affection in front of each other. Liam closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and slumped back into Zayn’s arms.

“Thanks, babe,” he said quietly before curling up to fit easier in his mate’s arms.

“So I’m guessing that means you’re staying for dinner?” Harry asked, smirking. 

Whenever Zayn reinforced their bond in that particular way, Liam was essentially out of commission for at least a couple of hours. Zayn was strong, but not strong enough to carry Liam across campus to their own apartment.

“If you don’t mind,” Zayn said, quietly.

“We do, actually. Sorry, but you’re going to have to starve,” Louis said, extra snark in his voice knowing that Zayn wouldn’t take him seriously. Zayn gave a half-hearted growl and, with a giggle, Harry and Louis got up to see what they would have for dinner.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“I know you’re jealous of what they have, okay?” Harry said after spitting his toothpaste in the sink. “I know that bonding makes it easier for you to help calm me and know I’m safe and all that other protective alpha shit you want to do for me, but is it really so bad to wait another nine months?”

Harry rinsed his mouth as Louis continued brushing. He was done, but he needed an excuse to not snap back at Harry immediately. This was a fight they’d had before and he really didn’t want Harry being angry at him  _ again. _ He’d hoped they would have the energy to actually have sex, maybe even enough for a knot since it had been a few weeks, but if this continued he could just chalk it up to another night of Harry’s back being turned to him and a refusal to touch.

“It’s not jealousy,” Louis insisted after he spit. “Not entirely. It’s mostly rooted in wanting to be more fully connected to you and taking that next big step. I’m not saying we’d just do it tonight and sweep it under the rug either. I want a formal ceremony with our families there and everything, but I like the idea of it being smaller. More intimate. Just our closest friends and family.”

“It’s how my family has always done it, though,” Harry argued. “I like the tradition and the idea that I’d be continuing it.”

Louis took a deep breath. “I know, love. I do. But your mom didn’t follow that tradition either, right?”

“Ugh,” Harry growled and pulled at his hair. “We’ve talked about this so many times, Louis. Don’t you have any new arguments to make for yourself instead of beating a dead horse with the same damn points every time?”

Harry stomped out of the bathroom without even finishing his nightly routine and Louis just gaped after him.

“You say that to me, but you’re saying the exact same thing you always do, too!” Louis argued. “Your points are always the same as well, so why am I the only one expected to come up with  new material?”

“Because my points are stronger and the ones you’re trying to beat!” Harry said, sounding near hysterical as he ripped off the t-shirt he’d been wearing as he stripped down for bed. 

“The fuck?” Louis spat, covering his eyes with his hands. “Why do you think your points are stronger? Just because I am still agreeing to waiting so we can have a combined bonding ceremony and wedding?”

Harry arched his brow and shrugged his shoulders. The amount of sass he could infuse in those simple movements infuriated Louis as much as they impressed him.

“Oh my God, have I got news for you!” Louis said as he struggled to keep from yelling. “The only reason I’m still agreeing to that is because I fucking love you enough to put aside everything that is in me telling me that I need to take care of you the best way that I can, and the only way I can do that is by bonding you! I’ve been fighting that ever since you presented, so I’m used to it, but it’s getting stronger, babe! I feel like something is going to happen. I don’t know what it is, but it’s weighing on me so I don’t think it’s good. But the point still stands that I can’t fully take care of you if I don’t have full legal bondmate rights because we haven’t fucking bonded yet due to some antiquated ritual that literally no one, not even your mom and sister, still abide by!”

The air swirled with their combined frustration, anger, and annoyance. Their scents, that usually combined to be such a beautiful combination of citrus and freshly cut wood, seemed to be warring with each other and cloying in a way that made just being in the same room as his feisty omega difficult.

Harry studied Louis a little more. “You’ve never said anything about this feeling before. How long have you been feeling it?”

“I just fucking told you! Since you presented!” Louis couldn’t believe that Harry was really so dense that he focused in on one thing and-

“No, fuckwad,” Harry sniped. “The feeling that something is gonna happen to me.”

The rage that had built in Louis’ chest over the past several minutes died down quickly as he focused on the unsettled weight that had become a near constant companion over the past month or so.

“Oh,” Louis said as he took a breath. “Uhm. Like since school started.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “This year or like, freshman year?”

“God, not freshman year,” Louis said as he pressed his palms to his eyes. 

He hadn’t wanted Harry to find out about it like this. Louis had been working to figure out what the feeling was trying to tell him ever since he realized it was something to do with Harry. He didn’t want to bring it up without having any answers, but it was too late for that, it seemed.

“It was just a weird, unsettled feeling that started like a month ago. I didn’t know what it was about, figured I was nervous for senior year starting or something, but it didn’t go away. Things with school had me worried, but then I was accepted for that internship and everything was going great, but the feeling kept growing.”

By now, Harry had gotten close enough to Louis that he had his hand pressed flat against Louis’ belly, almost like he was trying to take the weight of the feeling away from Louis.

“You remember how I had that premonition of sorts about your stitches that got infected back in middle school?” Louis asked. 

Harry looked up and met his eyes with curiosity. He nodded slowly. “From the moment I got home from the hospital after getting the stitches, you kept asking to see it and wouldn’t stop checking on it. I thought you were just obsessed with wounds or something.”

Louis gave a weak smile. “I knew. I dunno how, but I knew something was going to go wrong. It’s the same kind of thing again, but this time it is so much stronger, Harry. And that scares me.”

“I’ll be okay,” Harry promised, leaning in and giving a kiss to Louis’ neck as he wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist. “I won’t leave you. Promise.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Louis said. “I know you won’t, but like. I do worry that something big is going to happen like when Liam got that concussion and Zayn was almost not allowed back in his room. They’ve bonded, H, and they still had to fight that. I don’t stand a chance.”

“Why is all of this coming up now, though? We’ve been having this disagreement about when to bond for awhile now, but you’ve only gotten adamant about this in the last week or so.”

Louis furrowed his brows. Harry was right. Maybe it was partly compounded by the fact that he felt responsible for Niall, and even though they didn’t fully realize he was missing until yesterday, there was a chance that it was still working Louis up and he didn’t even realize it.

“I think I’m worried about Niall too. I don’t do well when I feel like the two of you are or could be in danger,” Louis admitted.

Harry leaned in and gave Louis a soft kiss on his lips, causing them to tingle like they always did, before nuzzling back into his neck.

“We’ll both be okay. You’ll see.”

Louis let out the breath he had unconsciously been holding. 

“There you go,” Harry said, dragging his hands up and down Louis’ back. He could feel the tension seeping out of him with Harry’s ministrations. “Now let’s finish getting ready for bed and sleep. We both have early shifts tomorrow.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

“It’s been seven days,” Liam said, pacing beside the table Louis had claimed in the cafeteria. “No one has seen Niall since Friday morning of last week.”

“Then, since today is Saturday, doesn’t that technically make it eight days since anyone’s seen him?” Louis pointed out. 

Liam glared. “Stop. I don’t care. It’s been too long, no matter the exact number of days, okay? I actually texted his mom to see if he’d been in touch with her and she said the school had emailed her about a short term leave of absence and that he was promised to be okay, but due to confidentiality that was all the information they were allowed to release.”

Louis threw a fry at Liam’s back. “Li, that’s kind of overstepping some boundaries, don’t you think?”

“He didn’t even bother reaching out to his mom, Louis! That’s not normal!”

“He’s not the momma’s boy I am, Li. You know this. He’s far more of a free spirit than either of us are, so this isn’t really surprising. I do want to know what’s going on with him, though, because he hasn’t even been on campus. Harry and I can’t smell him anywhere anymore.”

Liam pouted and sat down at the table. “I know. I think that’s why it bothers me so much.”

Louis reached out to rub Liam’s forearm. “He’ll be back. I just wish we knew where he was. But Maura having been contacted by the school actually makes me feel better, even if we still don’t know what the hell is going on with him.”

Both of them focused on eating their lunches while doing some reading until, about fifteen minutes later, Louis’ phone rang. Zayn’s face covered in permanent marker drawings of dicks filled the screen and Louis was instantly worried. Zayn avoided phone calls like the plague unless it was to talk to his mom. The fact he was calling Louis couldn’t be a good sign.

“Hey, Zee. Why ya calling?”

When Liam heard the name of his bondmate, he looked up, eyes wide in surprise.

“Lou, you gotta get to the university hospital. Something’s wrong with Harry.”

“What do you mean?” 

Louis’ entire body froze up and he felt like his head was full of cotton. Niall was missing and now something was bad enough with Harry that Zayn was telling Louis to get to the hospital. The feeling he’d told Harry about a few days before increased tenfold, and Louis felt rooted to the chair. 

“I mean that we were in the middle of our shift and suddenly Harry doubled over in so much pain that he couldn’t stand up. He was white as a sheet, man. The ambulance has been called and he’s on the way over. They wouldn’t let me in with him. You’ve gotta go meet him.”

“Fuck,” Louis said, standing up so suddenly he knocked over his chair and almost upset the table while he was at it. “Oh my God, what if he’s not okay?”

“I dunno, but you’ve got to get there, and fast. He was crying for me to call you so you could get there. He’s scared.”

“Of course he’s scared,” Louis bit back as he practically ran for the cafeteria doors, Liam trailing behind him. “Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have told him about my feeling.”

“What feeling?” came at Louis in stereo, between Zayn on the phone and Liam beside him.

“I just felt like something bad was going to happen to him. I didn’t know what or when but it’s been with me for awhile now and I told him about it earlier this week. That probably just freaked him out even more and now he’s there alone. Fuck, I’m gonna let you go. I’ll text you later.”

They hung up and Liam kept up with Louis as they rushed to the medical center that was, of course, twenty minutes away from where they’d been. The buses ran on such a limited schedule on the weekends, there was no way to get there faster. As they walked, Liam talked about a range of subjects Louis couldn’t begin to focus on, but he appreciated the effort. It wasn’t Liam’s fault that his mind was a loop of  _ Harry, Harry, Harry. _

They finally got to the hospital and the complex was so large, Louis couldn’t figure out where the emergency room was even located. Slightly sweaty and out of breath, Louis marched up to the first desk he could find with someone standing behind it. 

“Hi, my fiancé was just brought here? Harry Styles? Where can I find him?”

The beta behind the desk gave Louis a judgemental glance. “Fiancé? Not bondmate or family?”

Louis pursed his lips. “Our ceremony is scheduled for next summer, but-”

“No exceptions. Bondmates and family only.”

Louis squawked. “I don’t even know if I’m at the right part of the hospital. Can’t you at least tell me where the waiting room is so I can be close to him and try to talk to the doctors or something?”

The beta sneered. “Sir, you might think you should be privy to all the information regarding your omega, but the law clearly states that unless you are bondmates or family, you cannot be let inside or given any information regarding the patient and his care. I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”

Louis leaned as far over the desk as he could. “So, you’re telling me you would rather my best friend and the love of my life to be sitting in a hospital room completely alone and afraid of what is going on because we haven’t solidified our bond yet? He smells just like me. His skin bears my marks. The only thing keeping him from legally belonging to each other is a fucking bite and a damn piece of paper.”

“Sir, if you cannot remove yourself from the premises then I will be forced to call security.”

Louis’ hand slammed down on the counter in frustration before he turned himself around and walked out to sit on the bench beside the doors to the hospital.

“I’m not leaving here until I at least learn where he is so I can be as close to him as possible.”

Liam nodded and sat down beside him. “That’s a good plan. Harry wants you here and hopefully he can feel that you’re nearby.”

Growling a little under his breath, Louis’ head fell into his hands. “God, this is so fucked up. This is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to avoid.”

Liam rubbed Louis’ back and hummed quietly, knowing that Louis just needed to vent. He was a good friend.

“Thanks for staying with me, Li. With Niall missing and now Harry in the hospital and zero information about him, I just feel really out of control.”

“I know. That’s okay. We can’t be in control of everything all the time.”

Louis nodded in acknowledgement. It didn’t help him feel any better, though.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Louis?” 

Louis jerked out of the strange swirl of dreams he’d been trapped in as he sat in the general waiting room. He blinked and looked towards where he’d heard his name and saw Harry’s mom rushing over to him.

“Anne, hi.” Louis stood up and wrapped her in a big hug. 

Feeling her warmth and smelling her muted tones of lavender and honey had Louis relaxing for the first time since he’d heard about Harry yesterday afternoon. He’d refused to leave the hospital and someone finally let him into one of the waiting rooms when the next shift took over, but he still wasn’t allowed to see Harry or get any information as to how he was doing. Louis was about to go crazy.

“Darling, I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back after we spoke last night.” Anne pulled back and cupped Louis’ cheek. She had always been like a second mother to Louis and having her near right now made him feel better. “They wouldn’t give me any information over the phone and I couldn’t get here until today with the car in the shop. I can’t believe they won’t let you in.”

Louis shrugged. “We’re not bondmates yet, so…”

Anne gave Louis a sympathetic smile. “Okay, well let me see if they’ll give me any information and let me back to see him. I’ll be back when I know anything, alright?”

Louis nodded and tried to give her a smile, but as tired as he was, he wasn’t sure it was anything close to a real one. The effort had to count for something, though. Anne squeezed Louis’ arm and walked over to the information desk. She was personally escorted back minutes later and Louis settled back down to wait some more.

Picking up his phone, Louis saw it had finished charging while he dozed earlier. He unplugged it and put the charger into the little bag Zayn had gathered for him once he’d gotten off work. He was going through the same automatic habit of checking his Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and email notifications when his screen flashed to a photo of Liam dressed as a werewolf for Halloween last year.

“Hey, Li. Niall shown back up yet?”

“No,” Liam wasn’t whining, but Louis could tell it was a near thing. 

Liam hated being out of control and unable to help those around him the same way Louis did. Having Harry in the hospital with no information about him on top of Niall being missing was probably almost as difficult for Liam as it was for Louis.

Taking a deep breath, Liam said, “We just checked his dorm and tried calling again. His voicemails haven’t filled up yet, so he must be checking them or something. I’m so worried, Louis. He’s been gone for so long. No one else seems worried besides us, so I don’t want to be, but it’s weird, isn’t it?”

Liam kept rambling for a bit, but Louis’ head felt weird and shifty like he couldn’t focus on anything. It was probably from not sleeping well in the uncomfortable seats surrounded by the strong smells of antiseptic, and stressed alphas and omegas spreading their powerful scents on top of that.

“So have you heard anything about Harry yet?”

Louis rubbed his eyes and shook his head before remembering Liam couldn’t see the motion. “Uh, no. Anne got here a little bit ago. They wouldn’t even give her details over the phone. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that they’re keeping everything so carefully guarded. Anyway, she said that she’d let me know as soon as she found out what’s going on.”

“Maybe she can talk to them about letting you back into Harry’s room,” Liam said hopefully. “I’d feel awful if something was wrong with me and Zayn couldn’t be there.”

Memories of how hard Liam and Zayn had to fight for Liam to be able to have his mate with him ran through Louis’ head. He hoped Harry wasn’t nearly so scared as Liam had been that day.

“Yeah, maybe,” Louis said quietly. 

“How are you holding up?” Liam asked. “Is there anything you need us to bring you?”

“No, I’m fine. Just wish I could be with Harry.”

They sat in silence, and Louis felt supported just knowing his friend cared enough to check on him.

“Okay, well. I’ve gotta get ready for work but Zayn says hi and to let him know if you think of anything.”

Louis smiled as they finished the call and hadn’t even locked his phone before Anne came back through the doors.

“Come on back, Louis. I’ve given everyone a good talking to.”

Louis snorted. Anne was a small omega who often came off as quiet and polite, but she was a force to be reckoned with, particularly when it came to her children.

“I didn’t think that lecturing people could do anything about the fact that we don’t have a legally recognized relationship.”

Anne swatted Louis’ arm while she smiled widely. “They were just being ridiculous. Harry isn’t in a regulated ward and visiting hours started at ten this morning. You should have been allowed back hours ago.”

Louis stopped walking and stared at her in disbelief. Anger was bubbling very near to the surface and his fists were clenched. What the fuck had they been doing then? Thinking they were protecting a poor defenseless omega by keeping an alpha who obviously cared about him from him when  _ anyone _ was allowed to go in to see him?

“Louis, I need you to calm down. Harry doesn’t need to see you like this. He’s been confused and worried why you hadn’t stopped by, but he needs protective Louis. The one who wants to take care of him and ease his fears. Not rash Louis who goes out and does things that end with him being banned from the hospital grounds.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “I was seventeen last time I acted out like that. I’m not going to attack anyone.”

Anne arched her brow before looking down where Louis still had his hands fisted. He forced them to relax and shook his head, a wry smile spreading. 

“Okay fine. I’m not going to attack anyone on  _ purpose.” _

Anne hummed and finished guiding them down a couple more hallways before she held a curtain back and Louis saw Harry sitting on a bed that had him in a halfway seated position.

“Oh my God, Harry,” Louis said under his breath as he rushed over to his omega. He smelled weird, strangely chemical thanks to all the medications he was on, but underneath it all there was still a faint hint of Harry’s usual citrus scent. “I’m so sorry, they wouldn’t let me in earlier. I’ve been here since yesterday. What happened?”

Louis forced himself to be quiet and just give a gentle kiss to Harry’s temple as Harry gripped his hand. He didn’t want to overwhelm him with questions, even if he had what felt like an endless supply of them.

“I’m so sorry. I left my phone in my jacket at work so I couldn’t reach out to you or anyone. The phone in my room doesn’t work either. I feel awful you’ve been so worried, though! You must have been going crazy.”

Harry’s eyes were wide and earnest, and Louis couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that Harry was worried about Louis when  _ he _ was the one in the hospital.

“Harry, love, don’t worry about me. But please tell me what happened to you before I go mad and strangle one of the nurses.”

Anne snorted from behind Louis.

“As you can tell from your mom’s reaction, it was a near thing earlier already,” Louis said, smiling at Anne. 

Harry had a firm grip on Louis’ hand, so he felt like it was okay to take his eyes off of him for a moment. Harry gestured for Louis to sit in the chair closest to the bed since his mom was comfortable in the love seat along the wall. As Louis sat down, Harry winced as he tried to adjust his position in bed so he could see Louis where he was sat. Once the seat had been moved so they were both comfortable and still able to touch each other, Harry finally began to speak.

“Okay so I’m sure Zayn already told you what happened at work. I wasn’t feeling that great all morning but I got a really horrible and strong pain in my stomach that wouldn’t let up. It was so bad I couldn’t stand up straight and when I tried the pain was excruciating so he called 911. They picked me up and almost immediately knew it was my appendix. We got here and it was close to bursting so they rushed me right into surgery and I wasn’t fully with it until pretty late last night when I finally came to only to find I didn’t have a working phone and my cell was still at work.”

Louis shook his head. He had a memory of being fourteen and scared because his mom had been rushed to the hospital by his dad. He learned it was her appendix but he wasn’t sure if she would survive or not. Of course she had been fine, they’d caught it in plenty of time, but it sounded like Harry was much closer to the danger of being poisoned by his own body.

“I’m never letting you out of my sight again,” Louis said, only partly joking. It made Harry smile, though, which was the goal. 

“Don’t make me laugh, that hurts so bad still, Lou.” Harry gently rested his free hand on his stomach over where Louis was sure the scar rested.

Louis let out a sigh of relief that Harry was okay and rested his head on Harry’s hand. “I was so fucking scared, Haz. But you’re okay, right? They caught it in time and there’s nothing else wrong?”

“Yeah. I didn’t respond well to some of the meds they gave me yesterday, so I have to stay an extra day to make sure that I don’t show any other adverse reactions, but they said I should be able to leave by Tuesday at the latest.”

“Thank fuck,” Louis whispered before kissing Harry’s hand.

“I feel so much better having you here,” Harry said. “The smells here have made me feel nauseous but your scent overpowers everything and settles me.”

Louis turned his head so he could look at Harry’s face. “I’m glad. I should have one of the guys bring one of my hoodies to stay with you since I probably can’t stay overnight.”

“Oh that won’t be a problem,” Anne said. Louis had almost forgotten she was there, she’d been so quiet. “They know you’ll be here with Harry as much as you two like.”

“Mom,” Harry said, his voice wary. “What did you say?”

“I just expressed some displeasure with their system here and might have mentioned something regarding discrimination experienced here in the past, both racially and gender based. They shaped up quickly after that.”

Anne was seriously amazing.

“Louis, love,” Anne said, looking at him curious. “Is that your phone ringing?”

Louis put his hand to his pocket and realized his phone was vibrating and he hadn’t heard or felt it. He swore that woman had superpowers.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he saw it was Zayn this time.

“Hey, Zee. Harry’s alright,” Louis said, smiling. 

“That’s...well, that’s great, but that’s not actually what I’m calling about.”

“Oh,” Louis said, sitting up straighter. “Then what  _ are _ you calling about?”

“I’m…” Zayn paused and groaned. “You’re gonna think I’m crazy.”

Louis laughed a little. “I already think that. What’s going on?”

Zayn paused for a minute again before mumbling something. Louis thought he said something about wind and alpha and news, but he wasn’t sure.

“I have no idea what you just said, can you speak clearer or something?” Louis was easily getting frustrated. Zayn needed to just get to the point. Louis could tell Zayn was worked up about something, but he would never know for sure if Zayn didn’t just spit it out.

Giving an annoyed sigh, Zayn said, “The wind changed. It’s so weird, Louis, the weather patterns are all saying the wind should be coming from the north, but it’s not. It’s coming from the south out of nowhere and it smells weird. Like, it smells strongly of alpha. And not an alpha I recognize? But I feel like I should?” Zayn groaned again and Louis knew the alpha was angrily running his hand through his hair. “I sound like a fucking idiot, but it just feels big, ya know?”

The thing was, Zayn was brilliant. He was at school for meteorology and was top of his class. He knew what he was talking about when it came to weather, but weather was also known to be fickle.

“Okay, but the wind changing isn’t  _ that _ weird, right?” Louis said, trying to grasp at what exactly was bothering Zayn most.

“It’s only changed in a very specific part of campus, Louis. Everywhere else it’s still coming from the north.”

Louis blinked. “Okay, I don’t know what to say to that. You can like, see it on the instruments and shit?” 

“No. That’s also why it’s weird. It’s happening but nothing is showing that it is.”

“Okay, so could you just be imagining this new alpha scent?” Louis pried. At this point Harry had stopped paying attention and was chatting with his mom. Louis got up to stand near the door to make it easier to talk to Zayn. Not like he was making any sense anyway.

“I’m not making this up, Lou. Liam didn’t want to leave the apartment alone because it smelled so strongly of unfamiliar alpha, so he had me walk him there. I could tell the alpha wasn’t actually there, but it’s definitely a new alpha, and what kind of new alpha is hanging around a college campus?”

“It could just be a late blooming freshman or something,” Louis said. “I don’t get why this is bothering you so much. It’s not that strange.”

“Fine. Whatever. Ignore me, but this means something, okay? The scent is like taking over, and the wind is weird, and no one seems to notice except me and Liam, but no big. Have fun with Harry in the hospital and just leave us to be crazy alone, that’s cool. Bye.”

“No, Zayn. That’s not what-” Louis pulled the phone away from his ear and found that Zayn had hung up on him. “Shit.”

“What’s going on?” Harry asked as Louis flopped back down in the chair next to his bed.

Louis’ head dropped back and he closed his eyes. He really didn’t want to have to do this, but Zayn was obviously upset and Louis couldn’t have that.

“I know I just got here, Haz, and I’m so sorry, but I think I have to go make sure Zayn’s okay. He’s really worked up about this scent he and Liam picked up.”

Harry gave Louis a warm smile, and Louis realized how tired he looked. “That’s okay, babe. Go make sure everything’s okay and I’ll nap. I’ll be okay with my mom. Maybe you can bring me my phone when you come back?”

Louis smiled, relieved and pressed a gentle kiss to Harry’s lips. “Yes, of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?”

Harry smiled and looked half asleep already. “I love you, Lou.”

“Love you too, H.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Zayn hadn’t been exaggerating. The moment Louis walked out the hospital doors he could smell it too. It was faint, but definitely there and pervasive. He could smell it the entire walk over to their apartment.

Louis knocked on the door, but Zayn wasn’t answering. 

“Come on, Zee. I left the hospital for you, now let’s figure out what’s going on, okay?”

“He’s not there, he rushed out a little bit ago.”

Louis turned around and saw the redhead who lived next door. “Oh.” Louis gave one more glance at the door. He supposed it was silly of him to assume that Zayn had stayed home when he was worried about this. “Do you know where he was heading?”

The man shrugged and apologized. Louis waved him off and walked back outside. 

Suddenly, Louis’ phone vibrated with a text message. Hoping it was Zayn telling him where he’d gone, Louis pulled it out of his pocket and looked, but it wasn’t from Zayn.

It was from Niall.

_ Niall: HEY FUCKERS! Guess who’s back?? Party at mine tonight! I’ve got all sorts of news! _

Louis’ phone began vibrating nonstop as the group chat began to blow up.

_ Liam: Niall were have you been?? We’ve been worried! _

_ Zayn: I’m never forgiving you for what you’ve put us through _ _  
_ _ Zayn: Okay yes I am but you need to tell us already _

_ Niall: The story’s too long to do via text. Hence the party! Be there or be square! _

_ Liam: Ni, today’s a Sunday. And Harry’s in the hospital, so he and Louis probably won’t be able to make it anyway. _

Louis typed madly in an attempt to interject before they got too carried away.

_ Louis: Harry’s fine, but yes he won’t be getting out of the hospital until tomorrow or Tuesday and I’ll be with him tonight.  _

Making a last minute decision, Louis started walking towards Niall’s dorm. 

_ Louis: I’m coming over now, though. I need answers, Horan. _

Louis shoved his phone back in his pocket and ignored it. He could catch up later. He needed to find out what had happened with Niall.

The alpha scent increased the closer Louis got to Niall’s building, and Louis got confused. This building was specifically for betas. They were allowed to have other genders in the building, of course, but only betas lived there and therefore it didn’t have it’s own particular scent. It was mostly neutral and calming.

The scent surrounding it was the opposite today.

Louis finally got up to Niall’s floor and he was nearly gagging, the scent was so strong. Hopefully Niall would let him in so he could escape the overwhelming scent as soon as possible. 

His hand barely met the door when Niall swung the door open and suddenly several things became clear. The scent was definitely coming from Niall’s room, Niall wasn’t alone seeing as there was an omega with him, and Niall was a fucking alpha who was bonded to the omega keeping him company.

“What the fuck,” Louis said, covering his mouth and nose. “How...when…?” He couldn’t even formulate a full question. “Oh my God, can we please go outside or something? Your scent is so strong I can’t even think in here.”

“Sure. Sorry. The doctors all said that would calm down, but that it would be pretty strong for awhile since I presented so late and bonded pretty much immediately. They said it shouldn’t last more than another week or so.”

Louis was in a state of shock. His system couldn’t really take much more information today, but that’s exactly what he needed. Answers. He probably wouldn’t be able to do much when it came to processing it until things calmed down a little, especially when his focus was mostly on Harry, but he was so relieved Niall was back and okay and finally giving answers he couldn’t be angry that those answers seemed to come with more questions too.

Niall and his omega really were adorable, but they were also disgustingly all over each other and eye fucking and he needed them to stop. Louis already couldn’t breathe thanks to their scents taking over the entirety of campus. He didn’t want to have to deal with watching this too.

As soon as they were outside, Louis felt his lungs take in the mostly fresh air and he felt worlds better. Then Zayn walked around the corner and all hell broke loose.

“It’s  _ you!”  _ he yelled before running over to Niall and tackling him to the ground. “Don’t you dare ever do that to us again, we were scared out of our minds and now you’re not a beta at all? Or an omega? You’re an alpha? What the fuck, man. You’re a fucking disaster, do you know how much we worried and here you were just busy having your first rut and mating the first omega you could find and I fucking hate you and am so glad you’re okay.”

Zayn finally seemed to lose his steam towards the end of his tirade and had collapsed all of his weight on Niall, hugging him awkwardly on the ground as Niall laughed raucously.

Louis looked at Niall’s omega. He was watching fondly with his head tilted to the side. The kid was tall and looked young. He was easily the tallest of everyone in their friend group, though, and incredibly lanky. He also had curly dark hair and slight dimples, which reminded Louis of a certain other omega who was waiting for him at the hospital. 

The omega finally turned to Louis and held out his hand. “Sorry, he hasn’t introduced us yet, but I’m Shawn.”

“Louis.”

“I know,” Shawn answered with another smile. “Niall was so excited for me to meet all of you, he couldn’t stop going through the photos on his phone and telling me about all of you. Especially you and Harry.”

“So! The truth is out. I’m an alpha.”

Louis turned and saw Niall dusting himself off before walking and taking hold of Shawn’s hand again.

“Yeah, how is that, uhm…” Louis had started to ask regarding a certain part of Niall’s anatomy, but couldn’t bring himself to actually say it.

Niall had never been shy about it, but it was just an acknowledged fact that Niall had a small dick and they didn’t talk about it. Louis knew it had nothing to do with shame, more just that they didn’t know how to address it. The fact his dick was so small did play into the idea that he was an omega, though. To find out he’d been an alpha all along was honestly a bit confusing.

“Apparently some presentations can lay dormant until meeting your soulmate,” Shawn explained.

Louis’ eyes widened and he looked at Niall. “Soulmates?”

Niall nodded, gazing lovingly at Shawn. “Yeah. Knew as soon as I saw him. He’s my forever.”

Shawn blushed but nudged Niall with his elbow as he said quietly, “You’re just saying that cause you fell into rut as soon as you saw and smelled me.”

“Shut up,” Zayn said, giggling. “Did he really?”

Shawn nodded, smirking. “It happened right in the middle of the quad. We had to rush him to emergency escort services to take us to a safe house. That’s why no one outside of the school knew. Phones don’t really work in there. Sorry.”

“Wow,” Louis said, running his hands through what was now incredibly greasy hair. A lot had happened since he’d last showered.

“So wait,” Zayn said. Louis knew he was going to ask it as soon as he saw the look on his friend’s face. “What about your dick? We always thought..?”

“It’s apparently called a micro-knot,” Niall said, unashamed. “I had no idea that even existed. The doctors said there had been documented cases of it, but they hadn’t seen one until me. Just goes to show how extra special I am.”

“Oh my God, you would take this and make it into your superpower or something,” Louis said. Niall always had the best attitude about everything, apparently even having a microdick. 

“Good thing I’m into that,” Shawn said with a wink. “He’s perfect.”

“Superheroes or micro-knots?” Zayn teased.

Shawn shrugged. “Both.”

“Damn, you two are disgusting,” Louis said, trying to cover his smile. He was happy for them, but they were laying it on pretty thick at the moment. He knew it would calm down the more they got used to it, but still. “And I’m used to Zayn and Liam.”

“You’re one to talk. I’ve had to deal with you and Harry fawning over each other from the time we were all in diapers,” Niall countered. “Speaking of Harry, what happened with him? Why’s he in the hospital?”

“Appendix,” Louis said, looking at Zayn. He knew it was news to him too since Louis hadn’t had time to tell anyone what had happened yet. “He’ll be fine, but they need to keep him another night or two.”

They chatted a little longer before Louis made his excuses to get back to his omega. Harry was going to love hearing about Niall.

 

*~~***~~*

 

“Holy shit,” Harry said quietly. His mom had left a few hours ago so she could sleep on a real bed, but it was still so quiet in their wing that they felt weird talking at full volume. “This is the craziest shit ever! So has Zayn figured out the wind stuff yet?”

Louis checked his phone. It was now almost midnight and there were a few texts waiting for him from Zayn.

_ Zayn: We had some of the special brownies I get sometimes from Marie and I’m telling you they’ve got me figuring out all sorts of life’s mysteries _ __  
_ Zayn: I’m a fucking genius _ _  
_ __ Zayn: The wind shit? It’s cause Niall is gonna be like a super strong alpha. It’s why it took so long for him to present too. It’s cause his powers have been building and he had to prove he was worthy of them. Or something. Maybe he just needed his soulmate to unlock them for him. Anyway, he has a soulmate. Those are real. Obviously magic and superpowers are too and Niall is an earth force. He controls the wind. The end.

Louis read them out loud and Harry laughed until he winced. 

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he wheezed as Louis worriedly made him lean back on the bed again. “If Niall was an earth force wouldn’t he have control over things like plants and the ground and shit?”

“Don’t you remember what happened the last time Zayn had those edibles? I don’t trust the girl who makes them. They always have Zayn go crazy! He ate so many he ended up convinced he was Manet reincarnated.”

“Oh fuck,” Harry said, obviously working hard in order to not laugh again. “I forgot about that. He got his ass fined so bad because of the painting he did on that wall downtown.”

Louis started cackling. “Liam was so proud of him, telling him he was the best street artist he’d ever seen.”

“It was an alpha dick,” Harry said with glee. “Knot and all! And it was shooting...what was it? Flowers?”

“No, I think he said afterwards it was bougainvillea vines that hadn’t bloomed yet.” Louis remembered that very clearly. Zayn hadn’t stopped trying to defend himself for months after that. The painting really had been very well done, even if it wasn’t exactly made for incredibly public consumption.

“Right.” Harry went quiet and Louis looked up at him. He half expected Harry to fall asleep at any moment, but he was still going strong as far as Louis could tell.

The silence had lasted long enough. Louis knew something was bothering Harry.

“What’s going on in there?” Louis asked gently.

“I’m sorry, Lou.”

Louis’ brows furrowed and he looked at Harry confused. “For what?”

Harry sighed a little before pulling Louis’ hand gently up so he could kiss it. “I’m sorry for not listening to you. About your feelings regarding something bad happening and not wanting to put off bonding and everything. You were right and I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Harry babe, it’s okay.” Louis really wasn’t angry. The feeling had gone away since the whole ordeal had happened and he felt much more at ease than he had in over a month.

Harry shook his head and looked into Louis’ eyes imploringly. “You were right. I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to bond with you.”

Louis’ jaw dropped. “Really?” 

A tear started falling down Harry’s cheek and Louis quickly moved to wipe it off before petting at Harry’s hair. Harry leaned into it, and Louis knew he was missing the extra physical affection he was used to, but it wasn’t safe just yet while his stomach and the incision continued healing.

“I don’t want to have to worry about something like this happening again. I want to know that, if anything were to happen to either of us, the first person called, the first person allowed to get the information and help make decisions, is the other. That’s how it should always be with us, right?”

Louis had tears in his eyes now, too, but he nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yes. Absolutely.”

Harry smiled, forcing a few more tears to fall down his cheek again. “I still want to get married next summer, even if people think it’s ridiculous, but I also really love your idea of bonding on our anniversary. It’s longer than I want to wait, a couple of months, but it feels right. More right than waiting until the summer.”

Louis squeezed his eyes closed and leaned down to press kisses to all of the skin that he safely could.

“I love you so much,” Louis said tenderly. “I am so lucky to have an omega as amazing as you. I can’t wait until I can officially be yours.”

“Same, Lou. I can’t wait to show off the mark so everyone knows.”

Louis took a deep breath. “Our moms are going to go crazy. Less than two months to plan a bonding ceremony.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “They’ll just have to deal with it. We’re at least giving more time than Niall and Shawn. Our families have probably been planning this since we were six.”

“Okay, true.”

As Louis leaned in to give Harry a kiss, everything felt right. He would never have chosen for things to play out how they had, but that was life. 

“But seriously, a micro-knot?”

Louis began to giggle. “Yeah. I have  _ so _ many questions.”

“Knowing Niall, he’ll be more than happy to answer them.”

Based on what Liam told them when he visited Harry in the hospital after his classes on Monday, Niall already had.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please promote me to fic master by leaving me kudos and a kind comment! If you're interested in promoting me to fic queen, you can please feel free to reblog my fic post found [here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/176699871668/how-i-feel-inside-9k-by-lululawrence-from-the)
> 
>  
> 
> *Please note that no formal promotions are actually made and I recognize that I'm not _actually_ a fic queen or fic master simply from your leaving of kudos. Though I might occasionally refer to myself as such because that's my prerogative. heh


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